INTROVERT CHARM STRATEGY: HOW TO STAND OUT IN A CROWD

Stand out? Why? I know as introverts “standing out” is the stuff of nightmares and we tend to avoid such an assault on our natural disposition. There is something very unsettling about being the center of attention. With that said, there are instances where such attention is not only beneficial but necessary. Trying to get the attention of someone you happen to be attracted to may or may not be difficult on its own. But it seems the more people that are around, the more difficult it is to be noticed. Trying to contribute a viable solution to a terminal work problem. To make sure the company you’re working for stays in business, you would speak up. How about less stressful situations? You have to pitch a product or service to an important client and you know that your rivals will be pitching to the same client, vying for the same dollar you are. How do you stand out?

 To solve this problem, let’s look at what causes our anxiety in groups. Why does the attention make us nervous? And how do we overcome this nervousness. And finally, how do we stand out in a crowd when we need to?

 Finding the cause of our aversion to attention is slightly easy. I say slightly because easy would be… “I’m uncomfortable because I’m introverted”. Well yes but, you got to go deeper. Being introverted absolutely effects your preference for attention, especially from strangers. However, this is not the cause of the uncomfortable feelings. Cause is something deeper and with practice can be controlled. Ego. Ego is the reason you feel uncomfortable when standing out or attracting attention. Now like I said earlier it’s only a problem when want to stand out. 95% of the time, just do what make you feel comfortable. But, when you want to attract attention. Your ego says to you… “ They are not going to like you”. Your ego says things like… “ they’re going to make fun of you.” Or… “you’ll be fired”. Or… “ they're always going to remember this”. These are the things I hear in my head whenever meeting a new person, not to mention standing out and being conspicuous. Our egos tell us that we are so important, that everyone else’s life is going to stop just to notice and judge what we do or say. Our egos tell us that, others will spend their valuable energy to record and relay our actions and words like the teachings of Mr.Rogers for all eternity. Our egos also tell us that... "everyone else has their stuff together all of the time and that they will not understand us if we don’t have our stuff together all of the time".

 What causes our anxiety in groups?

- Our ego tends to stroke whatever insecurity you may have about attracting a lot of attention in certain situations

 How to control ego?

- Remembering that most of us think of our own participation in a given situation. Think of how you feel about others when they attract a lot of attention. You may laugh, be impressed, be appalled, be disgusted, be angry even. Then think about what happen next. Usually, nothing happened. You made you comments or laughed or snapped a picture or whatever but more than likely, nothing happened. No one’s life changed, no one ended up in the history books. Life goes on. That is the key to managing your ego. Remembering that frankly… no one cares. Not because they are rude or malicious but because they are too busy caring about how they themselves look.

 Once you’ve managed your ego and can start to control your anxiety. Now what? How do you stand out and set yourself apart? That is the easiest part of this whole thing. Standing out and setting yourself apart is just that. Look for common denominators in the crowd. Once you spot a trend about a group, do the opposite. If you are in a bar and most of the people there are loud and energetic. Go sit in the corner and chill. When the group is quiet, speak loud enough for everyone to hear. If everyone is standing, go grab a seat to sit in. Whatever it is, do the opposite. Besides that be extremely yourself without the ego. Since you are the only one of you in the room, being the most yourself will ensure that you stand out and set yourself apart.

 How to stand out in crowds as an introvert?

 - Step 1: Accept that your ego can stroke your insecurities and is the cause of the anxiety associated with standing out and attracting attention.

 - Step 2: Control your ego by remembering that almost everyone is too busy worrying about how they look in a given situation to care about what you are doing. And if they do react to you, the moment will pass and nothing is likely to happen.

 - Step 3: Stand out by going against the grain of the group. Do the opposite of everyone else. Set yourself apart by just being yourself but turn it to the max. There is no one like you so use that to your advantage.

Communication can be tough for introverts but it is a skill that can be honed and used when necessary if this topic interests you,

Download My Free 3-Step Guide: How To Start Conversations With Anyone in 2020